Saturday, December 31, 2011

Long Form Journalism piece

Always Make Them Remember

Before the fame and fortune comes the dues —
By Allison Lozada —
Walking through the tight, dark bar known as the Village Lantern in New York I await a band whose genre of music does not seem to be appropriate for this scene. The bar holds nothing but hipsters who seem to enjoy indie music as opposed to hard, loud metal. For a space so narrow there are about 25-30 people, minding their own business and part taking in their conversations. The girls all look the same: long straight hair, dressy flats, tight pants/leggings, bug eye sun glasses and they all wear the same smile. The men don’t seem any different with their tight jeans either. They are talking about their friends, drinking, and past weekends. While the first band begins to perform, I can still hear people talking, the glasses clinging, and the cheering and grunting of touchdowns. I patiently hover over my $8.00 chicken tenders and check the area out. To the left of me I see nothing but a brick wall all the while the chaos going on to my right. My only entertainment: there are the four flat screens broadcasting college football and the one man at the bar looking nervous wearing a flashy zebra jacket.
Around 10:30 p.m. a loud thunder of drums and guitars filled the space and suddenly everyone stopped talking to look at the small stage that held such big noises. The drummer looking massive and intimidating with his long hair and gauged ears, the singer not cracking a single smile, the chick tuning her bass and both guitarists feeling their guitars. This band slapped everyone in the face and demanded them to wake up and smell the metal.
Doug on the front left, Frank back left, Morgan in middle, front right Mike, back right Roman — PROVIDED BY FACEBOOK
Doug Spuma rips through the ears of everyone intimately sitting close to the stage with their trendy shoes and drinks. As he growls the lyrics of their song, he gives off the mysterious vibe with his black hat and black hoodie. In front of him is Frank Mayhack, who effortlessly plays his guitar and lets his hands run up and down the neck naturally. Morgan Rainville plays her bass that compliments her badass attitude she wears on her face the entire night with her eye brows stressed downward with her nose in the air. At one moment, Frank and Morgan lock eyes in an intense jam session as if they were practicing alone with no one around. Roman Cogliati shreds his guitar as calmly as the blue ocean without the sight of a wave to disrupt its cool energy. Mike Mojnikiewicz’s feet display his awesome usage of double bass. This metal band has left their mark and lived up to their name: Make Them Remember. And they did.
the day will come
where I see the truth
where I see the meaning
of that false statement
Once done with their performance it was obvious they have made new fans. The trendy kids suddenly were cheering for them and you could only hear “WOOO!!” throughout the bar. Even with the crowds’ ears muffled they still clapped and requested and begged for one more song. Alexis Clyburn, 20, Weehawken said, “it [the show] was pretty great… totally worth coming all the way from Weehawken.” As they were finishing up, other spectators who were talking through the first band’s performance shouted for one more Make Them Remember song to be played. One man in particular wearing pants that seemed to cut off his circulation at his waist, and who didn’t seem shy to show off what he had going on below the belt, managed to head bang and tried to get everyone else involved. The crowd then roared with applause and cheering. I also found myself cheering and “wooing” as if I were at my favorite band’s concert.
Heavy metal formed out of a genre of blues-rock and “psychedelia” of the late 1960’s. “In the late 1970’s the New Wave of British Heavy Metal (NWOBHM) made metal very popular (esp. in Europe) with bands like Iron Maiden, Saxon, and Def Leppard,” claims en.citizendium.org. Led Zeppelin inspired other bands to be as heavy as they were. Who can listen to the 10 second, beginning guitar riffs of “Whole Lotta Love” by Zeppelin and not be turned on by just a few simple riffs that do not even introduce the lyrics yet?
The Kinks also contributed into the New Wave invasion with “You Really Got Me”. It is believed that The Kinks were the first to use that “heavy fuzz riff guitar” that is now metal’s signature sound. It was not until the mid-1980s where heavy metal reached its peak. We can give thanks and praise to Steppenwolf for reciting those famous words that made the term “heavy metal” the genre it is today: “I like smoke and lightning/Heavy metal thunder/Racin’ with the wind/And the feelin’ that I’m under.” This is the first time the term “heavy metal” was used in the musical sense and it rocked.
There have been various forms of this genre we call metal. Pop metal, which is “radio friendly”, includes bands like Kiss, Motley Crue, Quiet Riot, Ratt, Twisted Sister. Thrash metal would be the more popular category most people think of. Perfect example of what thrash metal sound like is Metallica: fast and loud. Metallica’s black album was also the first thrash metal album that reached No. 1. Thanks to Metallica and Slayer in the 80s thrash metal became popular. Black metal has a heavy distortion. Venom and Dimmu Borgir fall into that style.
Some may actually be surprised to know there is some religion in metal and I don’t mean Satanism. Bands such as As I Lay Dying and Demon Hunter are Christian metal bands also known as “white metal.” Their lyrics, although heavy, stay in touch with their religious beliefs. Goth metal is a slower tempo, low toned guitar and the sound is thicker and heavier. The famous Cradle of Filth is goth metal and they aren’t afraid to show it with their skin tight, all black leather clothes, extremely pale complexion, black lipstick and eye liner, and a sight that will send any parent running to the hills. Doom metal consists of bands similar to Black Sabbath. “Black Sabbath defined the darkness off the genre with their satanic lyrics and the macho teen despair of their message,” according to blogcritics.org. Neo-Classical metal is based more on classical music and the more popular band that is associated with the genre is Yngwie Mamsteen.
She assumes that her life with you is a waste
So she ends that happiest days of your life in a split second
Not knowing that second
Was the worst time in your life

At the Village Lantern I meet Mike. He is tall, really tall, standing at a whopping 6’5”. His long, dark, and straight hair was pulled back towards the back of his neck in a ponytail. He was bringing in some equipment. At the time I wasn’t sure if he was part of the band or just someone who was helping them bring the equipment in out of the goodness of his heart. I decided to go to the bathroom before they began playing so I wouldn’t miss anything or be forced to rush out. Going down the stairs I hear something that sounded like an animal screech, to my surprise, it turned out to be a man who’s had one too many drinks and it was only 10:00pm. Once I got back from the hell hole of the bathroom I heard drums doing sound check. As I reached the door I see Mike sitting in this tight little corner with the drum kit. He looked like Mr. Incredible when he was driving his dinky little car and then crushed the corner of his car with his hand: massive, tall, and too big for his own good.
At practice, I finally got to see how big his drum kit actually is. I mentioned to him how small the original drums were that he played at the show. “It takes away so much life out of the parts [songs],” quietly said Mike. Whether it was practicing their songs in Sundance Studio or just goofing around, he played passionately. I couldn’t help but admire his double bass and the way he swung his arms with great ease and free flowing which was compressed at the show. His real talent really got to shine through. Being very mellow and extremely modest brings out the extraordinary capability he holds inside.
I’ve been friends with Frank for about four or five years now. At the time Frank was attending New Jersey City University as a music student. Something about him stuck out and stayed with me because I normally forget new people I meet and I couldn’t forget his face. The day I met him his hair was long and very curly towards the ends. He had his brown hoodie over his head but his hair was too poofy to ignore. His faded green eyes glistened in the sunlight while his ample cheeks were being pushed up by his friendly smile.
I have never heard him play until he was on stage and suddenly, I am looking at a stranger. He was no longer the “guy who plays guitar;” he became a musician. I have always respected his string talents but I finally became impressed by his performance. I’ve heard and watched other friends play guitar but Frank was the first to ever impress me and make me feel like I was in the presence of a future rock star. To say he blew my mind would be an understatement. The best advice he’s ever given me was “practice what you love.”
Through Frank I met Doug. I was playing a very poorly trained match maker between Frank and a girl I knew so I brought her down to Bayonne (where the band is from) to see Frank. When we arrived at the front of 711, near what now is the light rail, Frank and Doug came up in what I believe may have been Doug’s car. I caught a quick glimpse of Doug then. The best and the only image that stayed with me was a picture Frank had sent of Doug. He was wearing a black shirt, tight black pants, a fake mustache and a huge, oversized orange tinted, foam cowboy hat with a little golden star in the center for the “sheriff” effect. Doug also sported a very serious and much focused look with his eye brows intensely clinched towards his nose. He meant business.
When he performed at the Village Lantern he was dressed in all black. Black jeans, black shoes, black hoodie, black hat. The only time you saw any color was when he lifted up his head to face the crowd. For majority of the performance he kept his head down. Only when he gave life to his lyrics, gripped the mic, leaned forward and reminded everyone they were watching metal was when you saw his face. He used what I like to call the Jim Morrison technique (Jim Morrison would sometimes sing with his back towards the audience because he was a hesitant performer).
I met Roman the same day I met Frank. He is an inch taller than Frank standing at 5’7”. I didn’t have much interaction with Roman then until now. I saw him at the show but he didn’t utter a word. I saw him again at practice and noticed he is the quietest of all of them. I finally set up an interview to see how he really is without anyone from the band around. He came in for the interview very calm and very professional. He praised Frank and seemed to consider him one of his best friends despite past occurrences which lead to Roman’s absence from the band. “Sometimes when I needed Frank he wasn’t there and … that hurt me.” Setting their issues aside, Roman optimistically said, “We started to talk again and the chemistry I had with him was like we never stopped talking.”
On stage, this guitarist carries deep concentration and focus when he is playing his guitar. The friendship he and Frank hold blooms when they lock eyes through songs such as False Statements. Other than that, Roman plays in the corner without ever looking at the crowd for a prolonged period. Because he does this it may be easy to lose him in sight but you cannot ignore his shredding skills
The chick, the eye candy, the bassist – Morgan. I officially met Morgan at the second show down at Trenton’s Championship Sports Bar and Grill. Before traveling down for the show, I had met up with Frank at his house first. As Doug alerted Frank he was downstairs, I walked out of Frank’s house and saw Morgan already standing there. She was wearing tight black jeans, grey sneakers, and a purple tight shirt that had buttons down the middle of her top stopping right before too much cleavage can be shown. She also wore a plaid grey coat and her hair was all black except the front which was blonde. She was smoking with her right hand since her left hand was all bandaged up because of an accident that included her puppy and her cat – it was brutal. She’s not a dainty little flower. She wears a “I don’t give a shit if you’re a big guy, I WILL fuck you up” type of attitude. Standing at 6’3” this is the type of girl you do not want to be around during a bar fight. Being the only woman in the band she doesn’t feel out of place. “I talk the same gross nonsense as them,” said Morgan, “I feel like I’m in a nature documentary about guys in their natural habitat.”
In performance, it’ hard to miss the chick bassist and the men in the crowd will agree. As she wears her bad ass attitude, she blends in with the boys but outshines them at the same time because 1. She’s a woman. 2. She’s playing an instrument and 3. She’s got breasts. She is fully aware being the woman in the band she holds a lot of power. “I’m always trying to make some type of connection because [a] connection leads to gigs outside of the Northern Jersey area and more exposure,” keenly said Morgan, “They [connections] just happen to be half drunk that I can easily influence with boobs and dirty words.”
I was told for the longest time
that everything happens for a reason
but I see no reason in what this means

John Blicharz, guitarist for Annunaki, another local Bayonne, New Jersey band and guitarist for Bloodfeast sat down with me for an interview about the music business. I was expecting him to tell me of the fame and fortunes of being in a band and being huge in Germany, (where Annunaki has a cult following). That was not the case. Instead, he went into how “shady” the music business can be. Bloodfeast – another of Blicharz’s bands – has been around since the 80’s. They are recording new material and playing old material, however, they won’t be seeing a dime for performing the old stuff anytime soon. “[Renaissance records] has the rights to the records and [they] won’t give them up so we have new material, we play, but we don’t have CDs to sell. Now that we’re doing shows, [they] are advertising that we’re back and [they] are reaping all the benefits.” John continues to say, “We are making zero money from [the old records]. We get money for performing but as far as records sales, that company gets everything.”
John went on to explain that back then the record company would provide funding in order to record the band’s music, so technically the company owned the music and the band had to pay them back. With record sales and merchandise sales the money flows into the company where it should be broken down evenly. John stated, “You never seem to break even.” Now, if the band breaks up, the record company holds the rights to the music but also cuts any debt the band may still owe. The good thing about this is you no longer owe money. The bad: you just lost all your rights to the music you made. What’s worse, when Bloodfeast began recording new music with another company, Renaissance records started to get money because the cycle of music has started again. The more the name starts to buzz around again the more the name is in demand including any old material, which the previous record company still owns resulting in no pay to the band at all.
What most upcoming bands are unaware of or choose to be oblivious to are the financial demands being in a band can bring. Most people know musicians have royalties that must be paid. While some bands will earn only 15 percent of royalties the remaining 85 will go straight to the record company. However, before the band gets their share of the 15 percent they must pay whatever debt they will have with the record company. Recoupable expenses “are amassed when the label spends money for what most of us would assume is the cost of doing business like artwork and packaging, tour support and video production,” according to freeenterpriseland.com. However, the record company does provides the band with money until the record comes out but before you begin to think that money is free this also becomes a debt. If your music sells a tour may sound great and you may want your label to financially support it. You just bought another debt. If you become big then you must pay back all your debt, keeping in mind if you go platinum, that doesn’t mean you will have enough to pay. Some record labels will spend $400,000.00 to record some videos alone.




As she walks away she turns to
See the massacre she left behind
When will she know when will she care
That this was all for you

After not having too much communication between the band and I for about a week or two, I log into facebook to check up on the band’s page and the their own pages. I come across Frank’s page and he had posted “We had to cancel our next [two] shows and need help getting our equipment back.” I had gone to the source with questions and received answers. About two weeks ago, they have been going through some major hardships involving their studio and equipment. Sundance Studio now holds their instruments hostage. They have fallen behind payments but it appears money isn’t the whole problem implied Roman. “The band [had] problems with band members… so it’s catching up,” adding, “band members coming and going.”
Renting the studio for $450.00/month ($90.00 per member a month) wore down the members. Now they are facing the risk of losing not only a space to practice in but their equipment as well. The band currently owes around $2,000.00 to Sundance Studio by February or the studio will sell their equipment. According to Mike, this isn’t the first time this has happened, “Me, Doug and Frank at the time… we were at our lowest point because we were locked out of the studio for ten months – one year because other band members owed money.” Trouble with money isn’t a new problem within Make Them Remember. In the same interview, Mike also added, “I was always fronting the money for whatever tickets we had to get. I think the first three years of the band if I wasn’t around to, you know, provide the money we wouldn’t have gotten this far as we’ve gotten now.”
Back on November 19, Make Them Remember was allowed to use other bands’ (and friends) instruments to perform. Their plan is to slowly pay the money back. Understanding they need to be heard, I suggested for them to hold a fundraiser, but not all the members felt comfortable doing it. “I don’t want [to] do that… it’s bad enough people are giving us money for our fuck up,” timidly said Frank. Doug agreed as well, “It’s kind of our own faults and shouldn’t be asking for money or help.” They understand they have no other choice but to pay from their own pockets explained Roman. Because of the financial setback it is hard to know when they will be performing again. However they are stepping up to their responsibilities and owning up to their faults. Make Them Remember have a long way to go before people begin hanging up their posters, but as for fans they can count me as one along with those who continue to support them.
You may not always get along, there will always be fights within the band, and money will certainly always be the bump on the road. Music isn’t cheap; fame will continuously come at a cost.


For more stories Gothic Times
 :)

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Hey, ma, where's the metal?

Popular music these days would be considered good hip hop music or music you can dance to. You can't change a channel or station and not hear Drake, Katy Perry, Black Eyed Peas, or Lil' Wayne. There is one genre that is hidden in the shadows and one must dig deep to find: . What happened to good metal music? You can't find good music that replicates Metallica's For Whom the Bell Tolls or Dio's Holy Diver (the original, kiddies, NOT the remake such as Killswitch Engage). It's not only metal music but real good hard rock, head banging, devil horned, sex driven, alcohol induced, "dont-mess-with-us" rock music. We should really get back in touch with old school metal... or at least point me into the direction where I can find new metal just as great... like Children of Bodom, perhaps?

On that note: my birthday is coming up. This is what I want for my 25th birthday


courtesy of cdn.buzznet.com

Yes, let's make all of that happen!

smile.

With everything that has happened and is happening to my family I hope they watch this and find some comfort.


courtesy elsolonline.com

<3

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

This year needs to end.

I should be grateful about everything this year but this goes to prove that holidays are always terrible for my family. Along with my cousin dying this June, my uncle passing last week, my aunt's health is also failing. She has been fighting cancer for about 2 years now I believe and they found a tumor in her head. They can't do anything about it so she they sent her home. Things are looking pretty grim and I can tell my dad is still shaken up about the whole ordeal. 

The only positive thing that has come through all of this is my mom actually spent time with my dad's family including Christmas. This was the first year, I believe, that my mom did NOT cook for Christmas. I could tell my dad was happy from the all the time my mom was spending with him and his family. I got to catch up with my cousins as well and it was really nice. We all got together and just thought back of the silly times we spent when we were young. It sucks. I wish I was still close to all of them esp. my little cousins. They are all grown up and I don't know when that happened!

New Years eve may be quiet. Not sure what is going to happen. My brother wants to go out, while Chance wants to go to his friends for a party. Honestly, I think I'll be fine if I stay in. I'm not really in the partying mood. Also, I have to play it by ear anyway. If another death occurs I will def. be staying in. Plus, being sick as a dog doesn't help either. 

I haven't been this sick in MONTHS. I always get at least one really bad cold a year. Leave it to my immune system to troll me and knock me down. At least I'm done with school and I don't need to be in the office or suffer in my dorm room alone. My nose is totally sore and red from my constant tissue usage which has sufficed... THANK GOD! I'm feeling a little better actually after feeling like death for the past 3 days!

School is finally over. I received 3 grades out of 6. I finally passed ONE of my british lit classes. I am still waiting for my cpu online class, romantic and victorian lit class, and my internship grades. If I pass everything I graduate this month and I should expect my diploma sometime in February/March. I should be writing up my last late write ups for my brit lit class but I am def. pushing my luck. I will still be editor in the spring semester though. Thankfully the boys are super helpful. I will also be moving down with my brother by south Jersey and I am so excited! His lease ends in March so I am going to wait (or try to wait) till then to move down.

One big thing I am looking forward to living with my brother is that I know he will be keeping my weight in check. Chance is the only guy I've ever been comfortable around with my weight. I don't feel pressure to always keep my weight in check, plus he also enjoys some junk in the truck (fye, I've always lacked that but thanks to my weight gain its finally there!). I'm actually happy with my chub chub, but I know having muscular legs means nothing if they are weak and that they are. I don't mind my chubby waist but I would want to tone up my arms. What girl likes flabby arms? EW! I think I am done with my ranting now. At least when I do update I can write a lot! 

courtesy of dailyclipart.net

Monday, November 28, 2011

Penguins! Make me smile

I am afraid. I hate to admit to people when I genuinely care for them. I hate to admit that I may be getting attached. The way I view it if you give the person the "satisfaction" of knowing they "got" you then you submit any power you may have held in the beginning. Once the other person has the knowledge they can abuse it and have the ability to actually hurt you.

I will try to be happy.

Think of penguins...
:)


courtesy of 9gag.com

Sunday, November 27, 2011

New blog coming?

So by the strange chance someone is reading this I was giving this a lot of thought. Sex sells and I have a lot of creative ideas in my head but for the sake of others reading this (esp. potential jobs) I usually keep this blog PG and clean. I have been thinking of making up a new blog with an alias and talk about crazy stories; some true and others made up. I made diddle with a few rough drafts before I actually do post anything and that may be the one I won't be too shy to make public because 1. it will have an alias and 2. it will be more entertaining.

Just a thought.


provided by http://blog.timesunion.com

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Goodbye Dell, Hello, HP!

So much for my update promises! I really did want to update these past weeks but I've been so busy with classes, papers, projects, and the newspaper. My computer was also failing. For some reason every time I would be typing on one line it would jump to another and whatever I had as a background would jump to the front... basically motherboard problems (so I was told). My computer was crappy anyway so I didn't want to spend more $ on it and decided to just buy a new laptop. I should do some catching up considering I don't know when was the last time I updated this:

2040 Apartments aren't THAT bad. Co-Op was and always will be the best. My roomie Rosalie and she's an international student from China. She has long black straight hair that I envy her for! Her English is okay, it's gotten a lot better since she's been here. Her cursing has also improved! She's really quiet and likes to keep to herself but she can be a social butterfly when she wants to be. I tried getting her drunk one time and I almost succeeded but I believe she only got buzzed. Silje is our friend from Norway. She lives across from us and she was Rosalie's friend first. Her accent is just sex with words; I love her accent and her fashion style. I have a little bit more in common with Silje aka Norway so she's pretty cool. Both of them are women from the land of amazons! Very tall girls. Max is another Chinese international student and I believe he is the oldest of all of us. He is 25 and he's married. He lives above us and he's the most mature of us as well... he's the only driver too! His room mate is Jimmy. He can come off as an arrogant b@$%@&$ but he means well... sometimes.. he makes a lot of jokes but he can be a sweetheart when he wants to be and a smooth talker. He's extremely smart for his age as well and knows about 3 languages understands maybe 4? He's got a manly jaw which stands out more without his glasses. The pretty boy affect if you will. Izzy is one of my favorites. He's from South Carolina and if you pay attention you can catch his Southern accent. He speaks slowly and has these golden, long, locks. He's silly with his adorable smile and he has this intense look once in a while. Alas, he is only 20 and looks younger. Roland aka Frenchie is the typical angry Frenchman who hates America. Nothing much to say... plus I can barely understand his thick accent.

The newspaper is going great! Rafal has been a huge help and I very much appreciate everything he's been doing. Monir, as crazy he can drive me, has been pulling his weight too. I'd lose my mind if I didn't have either of them. I have also accepted being E.I.C for next semester. Of course, I won't be dorming, by then I should be down south Jersey living in Plainsboro, NJ. My brother asked me to move out with him since he is already down there so I'm thinking of doing it. I just want to get out of Hudson/Bergen county! I'm just hoping this isn't going to jeopardize any job offers.

Well, I think I am caught up with updates. I hope I can cont. doing so later on, until then, please enjoy the picture of business cat!
provided by wordpress.com
 

Sunday, October 2, 2011

So sick

So remember that kidney

stone I mentioned? It may have turned into a bladder infection D: I can't win. My doctor gave me some meds to help ease the pain and with the stone possibly gone I have to go to a radiologist to make sure everything is back to normal. As if I didn't have enough on my plate to deal with. Tuesday I have to interview my previous boss for the paper because I want to help that office be known since they do a lot and many people don't know that. Then class at 7 in which I will have had to read 15pages of long form article and then do the actual written homework. Wednesday I have to finish reading 50 pages for my Thursday morning class at 7 and then possibly run off to Make Them Remember band practice which I am covering for my capstone class. My capstone is a review of everything I have learned from day one of my journalism classes (and english classes). I have to pick one story and write a long form article. And Make Them Remember is my topic. I have to dig deep and find the key idea what I will focus my article on. I went to a show at the Village Latern last night to watch them play. I don't want to give too many details up since when it is done I will be posting it. It will most likely be sometime in December. I am now going to drink my meds and hope I will magically wake up healthy and pain free! I hope.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

I love the smell of rain

The second Gothic Times issue is finally out for all of campus to read. I feel much better since last post about my ego being shut down. But of course, I now have a medical problem. I have a kidney stone... it's been in my body since last Thursday. I decided to name it Oliver Stone - thanx to my brother, Jack. It's rainy here and it's th e first time I have been in my room, with my window wide open, and enjoyed the rain. I love the smell of rain. The noise calms me and I feel chipper.

My adviser/professor told me I should take a break from the office for the rest of the week and I am doing just that. I am going home tonight and I will be coming back Monday night. I can breathe a little easy now that I know the paper is done. I can actually catch up on my homework for all my classes.

I nearly broke down in class Tuesday night which I had with my professor/adviser! I just sat there and cried. Talk about embarrassing! Not only did I feel like hiding under a rock, I felt as though I showed the adviser I cant handle all the pressure and its not even October yet! I need some type of "me" release.

Before I forget to email my professors back I shall go on and do that!... along with my homework.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

TaDa!

Due to my new found courage (again, thanks to Kat Von D), I decided to re pierce my tongue.

This was before the swelling, of course.
This was done by my friend Sydney. You can contact her on her Facebook. She works in a shop in Jersey City, I don't have the name of the shop, but I will post it later today. She was quick and smooth, frankly, I didn't even feel it! So, thanks, Sydney! You're awesome!

It's 9:45am and I totally skipped class like a bad noodle. I really didn't want to but I was not prepared. I don't have the books, I didn't do the reading, and I remembered he was going to quiz us on the reading. On top of that, I can barely speak. I would have been a ball of useless. So, rather than have my professor, who holds the key of my graduation dreams (along with my other 4 professors this semester), think I am a slacker, I rather him think I had a cold! I will be prepared for next class though! I will have done the reading, I'll give him a ring and ask what we have to hand in and I'll be ready for any exam! This is the only class I have missed this semester which is an improvement form previous semesters.

I'm so hungry right now but the hole through my tongue and restraining me from eating D: SAD DAY!!

courtesy of icanhascheezburger.com

I'm going to run off and finish up my article for the newspaper and chow down on some delicious ice chips.
-_-


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

You ROQ, Kat Von D!

I sat on my bed last night and drowned my sorrows in red velvet cake and suffered a terrible bellyache right after. I showered and wiped off the day's disappointment off and tried to sleep. I couldn't. I wasn't too sure if it was because of how I felt, the bellyache, or the fact that I saw something crawl behind my bed (ps. i havent found it yet). Regardless, I went to sleep finally about 3 in the morning. I got some reading done for my class tonight so I was productive.

This morning I woke up and I did not want to go to work today. I didn't feel like going to the office or dealing with anyone so I just stayed in and watched L.A. Ink. I started to watch the first season and watching someone who is cool, calm, collective, and just so rad be so nervous about owning her own shop really made me feel so much better. She called herself a push over, but I think she is far from it. What really pulled me out of my slump was the simple fact she's such a strong woman and she felt the way I feel now, like she finally grew up. She didn't know being a boss would be this much work and she was still learning and that is how I feel about being EIC. It was actually really inspiring... great timing. I never felt crappy and then the next day watch/read something that really related to me in every aspect. I got work done and even gave out two article for NOVEMBER'S issue! I wish there was a way I could let her know how she made me feel and how happy I am now all because of her.

Kat Von D poses backstage at the Long Beach Arena- Click All Sizes and Buzz!!!
courtesy of bejus-celebs.buzznet.com


You rock, Kat!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I spoke too soon

I'm beginning to think my professor made a mistake by assigning me as EIC. I'm also beginning to lose any confidence - what I had left anyway - I had to take charge. There is one girl I refuse to give any big stories to because she didn't even know who our Vice President of our country. People call her an airhead because she doesn't show any interest in anything but fashion. I don't think I am far from that either, now. Fashion isn't my forte either, I always thought it was writing. Lord know I can't mix and match. That's not the point - the point is: maybe I am just another air head holding a facade. What caused this emotion to rise up? Tonight's class... or rather, the people in it: last year's EIC.

Last year EIC consisted of two men. They are worldly, highly intelligent, super into politics and pretty much everything else. I looked up to them and even, intimidated by them. I always wanted to be up to their level and by this age, I thought I could have been. My knowledge about the world has not changed and I feel like I have failed and wasted all this money on school for nothing. I still feel like a little girl wearing big shoes that don't fit and a dress way too long for me. I'm trying to be an adult that I cannot seem to get in touch with. This is the second time I have class this month and I dread it now. This is supposed to be my favorite and most challenging class because it's pretty much a big review of everything I have learned thus far and put it to work. Basically, everything I have studied and worked for needs to show in this class by December. I dread this class because I feel like I will be a failure to the newspaper because I am not as smart as they are, I don't watch/read the news as much as I should, I enjoy watching the Jersey Shore, I allow my managing editor to come up with news while I just "OK" everything. I feel like I should be the one saying, "how about this for a feature story," "how about this for news," "hey, did you hear what the governor signed off on." Every time he gets into a deep convo or debate, I have to sit it out because I'm that idiot girl who doesn't know what is going on in the world, despite everything my super awesome professor has taught me. 

courtesy of icanhascheezburger.com

That is as pathetic I can make myself seem right now. I hate hugs, but right now, one would actually help. What kept me from telling Chance what was wrong with me was the fact I was holding back from bursting into tears. The moment I would have told him what was wrong I wouldn't have been able to stop crying. If anyone knows me, they know I hate to show emotion in public, even if it is one person. I just feel like a loser and I don't know how to not feel like this. I try not to care about what people think of me, but I think my managing editor feels like I am useless and he should have been editor because he comes up with most stories and I just assign dates and 'yes/no' ideas and people. I wish they would just tell me what I am doing wrong so I can fix it or try harder. At this point my only accomplishment was making the newspaper available, not only on the first week, but the first day of class. Other than that, I don't feel special or powerful or anything. Hopefully I can get out of this slump soon... I hate this feeling.

blah!
D,:

Monday, September 12, 2011

"BRAVERY! i has it"

It's the second week of class and I have yet to do all of my homework. Thankfully, I only have "face-to-face" classes Tuesday and Wednesday nights and one morning class on Thursdays. The other two are online, which makes it easier. Things at work have been going smoothly. As EIC I feel as though I should be writing more articles than just my Ally (Sex/Relationship Column), but I'm terrified I am going to screw up my classes. As much as I love the paper, I really would love to have my diploma come February and be done by December.

I made a list of what exactly I want to do once I am done this year:
Graduate
Get a job by Plainsboro, NJ
Move out with my brother
Drive, Drive, DRIVE

It would be great if I could move out with my brother but that does throw a wrench in my relationship with Chance. I wouldn't mind moving out with Chance but he is younger than me, only a Sophomore, and receives help from the Government to pay for school all of which requires him to stay at home. He already knows I want to be out the house already. I am getting that "itch" to leave the nest and be on my own. I'm turning 25 in January and I want to feel accomplished by having a job and being on my own - living with my brother I guess doesn't qualify me as "being on my own," but its close! Most people don't want to ever leave the nest, but not me! I know it will take a lot for me to make money and struggle on my own to afford my expenses, however, I try to do that now because I hate taking money from my parents. Once I started working I stopped asking for my parents for money unless I really needed it. I usually needed it when I had to travel to school during summer, even then, I tried to use my savings.

I think I have it in me to face the challenges.


courtesy of icanhascheezburger.com

Yeah, I totally have it.

:3

Saturday, September 10, 2011

We lost you too soon.

I cannot find a way to post the newspaper on this thing! I promise it is very well written. However, I will post an important article on this.
http://www.gothictimes.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Sept-6-2011-Gothic-Times.pdf

For those who do not know this, Antonio Anazco was a childhood friend of mine. My brother teaches Taekwondo down in Princeton, NJ but he began in D.K Park Taekwondo in Jersey City, NJ. Antonio joined when he was nine years old and I met him when we were both 11 through my brother. Since then my brother and his close black belt friends always hung out for years. Antonio was the youngest of the group. He celebrated my birthdays many times and we were close. I referred to Antonio as my cousin since we were so close and we were both the same nationality.

My brother called me at 9:35am on Saturday and told me Antonio had died and I didn't believe him until I heard his voice crack. I ran upstairs and collapsed when I told my mom what had happened. At that moment my parents were fighting which meant the silent treatment but my mom walked me downstairs and spoke to my dad. She told him I wasn't well and he had to come in from the backyard. Once I calmed down I called Gina, my best friend, who also knew Antonio. It was one of the worst days of my life.

We went to his aunt's house to comfort and see Lupe - his mother. Antonio was Lupe's only child and they lived together. I couldn't take looking at her. She was just terribly and so heart broken. No break up could ever compare to a mother losing her child before his/her time. She just kept saying, "my son is dead," and it just killed me. After everything was said and done (wake and funeral) I looked up the story and found so many wrong articles. I took it upon myself to use my writing skills and EIC position and write the real story. His father approved of it and his mother liked it. I posted it on facebook and many of his friends and family enjoyed reading the real story. I think about him all the time and still keep his picture on my desktop:
That is my favorite picture of him. He will continued to be missed and we all will continue to speak to him through facebook.... I really miss him.


RIP
<3

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Its published!

When people think of the first day of school they think professors, books, classrooms and friends. I thought all of that including distributing my Gothic Times newspaper! Its finally published!
I will attach the PDF form through here later so it can be visible to see!
Go me! :)

http://www.gothictimes.net/

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

So much water!

What's up, Irene? What had got your panties in a bunch?! The East Coast did not appreciate your b#$%@ fest you brought last weekend!

Living in the East Coast we are prepared to deal with skin cutting cold and scorching weather; we are not prepared for hurricanes (or earthquakes). I live in front of a park:

This is what my park looked like after the hurricane:

This is my house:
The flooding had just missed me by one house. Sadly, I cannot say the rest of the street to the left was lucky:

My best friend lives around the corner from me, I could have either swam or taken a rowboat to her house. She was fine, no flooding for her. The people down this street were devastated. My family friend lives down the street closer to the park, left side and she said she was evacuated because her house is prone to floods. Not only did her basement become flooded and ruined, her first floor also became flooded as well. Other people had 4-5 feet of water in their basement. Sure, insurance can cover it, but there is no insurance for lost memories. So for everyone who has been talking trash that this hurricane wasn't that bad, PLEASE, come through Lyndhurst, NJ and tell that to those who lost many memories and have damaged property.

Another thing that I was thankful for was this beaver that has been hanging around in front of the park close to my house. It has been hanging around there for a week and I was worried that maybe it would drown (yes, I know what you are thinking). Well, after the storm I went outside to see if it was still there and it was. It was still chowing down on whatever it found that has been keeping it there for a week. I decided to name her Irene. Yesterday I passed by the park and to my surprise there are now two beavers! They must be a pair or something because I saw them waddling close to each other, running, and hopping with each other. My big fear for them is they will wander too close to the street and a reckless driver will hit them :(
courtesy of ecosystemdiscovery.com

That is what I think they look like when no one is watching :3 I love animals. What can I say? =)



**********UPDATE**********
There is now a family of beavers in front of my house 
=)

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Blogging is harder than I thought!

I always thought blogging would be cool and a great outlet, but when I have to be careful what I say, it gets boring and rather hard to do. Obviously, I haven't been blogging as much and its not because I have stuff to do (even though I do, but it doesn't consume every minute of my life) its because i KNOW no one is reading this.. YET. 

What made it want to blog today was watching the Anne Frank story (2009 movie). I take for granted that I have freedom of speech and I am not forced to write in a diary while secretly being locked away. Although, I have had MANY diaries... which can be read once I am dead and buried where my mother will never read them! I should be happy that I have the luxury to blog in peace. If a thirteen year old Jewish girl can tell a whole story through her diary while in the midst of the Nazi invasion, I should be able to keep up a blog.

SO HOW ABOUT THAT 6.0 (5.8) EARTHQUAKE, MY FELLOW AMERICANS?! For those who slept through the massive amount of newsfeed on your facebook, the news, and rattles, here is a link to catch you up. It came bad timing as well for me. I had to call the person whos supposed to do our newspaper layout at 2pm and that is when the earthquake happened. I was on my couch trying to show my mom how to use netflix when I feel the couch shaking to which I thought was my dog scratching himself behind the couch. Once I saw he wasn't behind me, mom staring at the shaking lamps, I quickly thought "stupid trucks outside are too heavy to be driving around here." I didn't see any trucks and then it dawned on me, "Holy $#!&, this is an earthquake!" I quickly ran to the doorway with mom and I was scared. I cannot even pretend I wasn't. I was trying to stay calm while on the inside... this is what I looked like:

courtesy of SodaHead.com

The animal was like the earthquake: no need to happen, foreign to the surroundings, and SCARY. My mother stayed calm and after it stopped I called my brother down in Princeton and he informed me he felt the same thing. After that call, I quickly called Chance (Le Boyfriend). He, being 6'3 and a MONSTER size polar bear of a man, said he felt nothing. Then once I calmed down my mother decided to let me know Ecuador has had its share of earthquakes. Both my parents immigrated to the Unites States over 25 years ago, I have never went to Ecuador to visit family. This was my first earthquake and I was still shaky. My little joke of the day was, "I am an American Citizen from New Jersey! I shouldn't have to deal with this shaking #$%!" (take offense all you want, everyone enjoyed my little crack). 

I was pretty trippy. I never thought I would ever be involved in an earthquake while living in NJ, but unless you were old enough through the 80's to remember anything, we did have one back then. I wasn't even born yet, but my parents said they did have one here.

Well, that was my blog for now, hopefully I can come up with something better later! :)

:3

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Almost There

One more day of class, one more final paper, and then i can finally begin editing and begin my articles! I have to build my editorial team soon which means i need a managing editor. One of themselves perks is having half of your tuition covered by the school. I have two candidates in mind

, but sadly i can only choose one. My advisor told me to interview both of them, and my dad told ms to give it to the person who needs it the most. Which makes sense. I just suck at being a boss.... considering i have never been in a boss position! My oldest brother's birthday is coming up and he is turning 30. He is currently single. I let him know when men get older and are still single its not a bad thing; when a woman gets old and remains single its a sad thing. It got me to think why do people pressure women to get married? Personally, i dont want to get married. I dont see myself being married. Living together, yes. White wedding, big, white dress (fyi: i dont think God would like if i tried to lie. The jig is up!), everyone staring at me.... dont see it. I love Chance, my boyfriend, but I have already told him that I don't see marriage in my future, let alone children! Im awkward around kids, therefore, I feel like I will be weird around my own kids too! I don't want to have them n have them grow up to be messed up people or spoiled, so what is the ideal way to raise good people? Here we have Chance, his mom let him do as he wanted and grew up fine, no babies, no drugs, in school, aspiring to go places. On the other hand, my cousin was spoiled and she came out with 2 kids, hates school, crap job - she's only 24 and she hates her baby father. I was sheltered and I did my own mischief and I have no clue if I turned out okay! Im moving away from the topic. Why do people look down on women who do not get married? Why did I just judge my cousin for having two kids and no husband? I blame society. I blame them because they have brain washed us into believing women need to be married and then have kids. What about single mothers? Or lesbians? Why are they such threats to everyone? Think about it, you can married, come together in a home, share your things and space, you get tired or the person or one cheats, then you have to file divorce, lawyers, court dates, separation of property, moving out, finding a spot, EXCESSIVE money usage to pay all listed above and then you find out you spent more getting away from your spouse than your own wedding! And involve kids in the mix! Then the kid comes out fucked up in the head too! At least if things go sour in a live-in relationship without marriage, you can move out n that's that. The only money issue is finding your own place, in fact, you'll save more money because you cut your costs and stop paying for your partners meals! Just a thought...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

13 going on 30... err... 24?

Do you feel unaccomplished? Like a kid? Annoyed you still have a curfew at the age of 24? No? Okay, it's just me, I suppose.

I am fully aware of my age, but if you saw me RIGHT NOW, with my glasses and no make up, you would think I am just an over developed 13 year old. Being EIC is NOT easy. I knew it was going to be heavy workload, but I wasn't prepared for the lack of intelligence writers were going to insult with me when they give me lame excuses on why they can't make deadlines - even when I have given them a month -_-. Why do I look like a 13 year old? It's because I have been breaking out, from stress! No bueno.

Growing up, my parents made sure they always took care of me and my brothers. I never broke a bone, I was never sent to the hospital for anything serious, I was hospitalized once when I was 12 because I got really sick, I had no surgeries. I think my parents did a good job, however, it kept me afraid from the world as well.

*****IF THERE ARE ANY PARENTS READING THIS*****
MAKE SURE YOU READ 
THIS 
NEXT 
LINE!

Over protecting your child is NOT A GOOD IDEA. Spoiling your kids WILL LEAD TO YOUR ABANDONMENT IN A NURSING HOME! I do appreciate my parents taking very good care of me, but I hate that I double guess myself. As EIC, I should be walking around like I am the shiznit, but I do not. I often question my authority and forget that I call the shots. I will not let people walk over me, especially when they are waiting and watching for my demise. To be honest, I never feel like my own age anyway. I dated this guy for 5 years (that's a blog of its own that I do NOT have enough time to post) and he always babied me. From ages 17-22, he never let me grow up and I found out the hard way that life is not going to baby me forever. Once I got out of that hellhole of a relationship, I sat down and straightened out my life. It's been a rough ride, but I enjoy being an adult... except the whole trail and error thing... man, do I HATE  the error part! I love working and making my own money and I love giving money to my parents, brother and even my boyfriend (another blog, most likely explaining why I enjoy giving him money).

Sorry, I'm ranting when I promised I'd try not to... my point is, I feel like I am not up for this position. I am just flipping out I won't do a good job and everyone will know I am a failure. At least my adviser will understand if I want to drink while I edit these articles... esp. the bullshit ones -_-... 

I think I am done. 
And I think the following picture captures my frustration.
Frustration Kitten
courtesy of funnypicturesofcats.info

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Every End Has Its Beginning

My name is Allison but everyone calls me, Ally. I use Ally Alexy (middle name) when I need a name online. Im not the techy type of girl so I get really paranoid about my information out there in the creepy web. I go to NJCU and I am a Senior. This is my last semester and I should be in done December. I am 24 years old and this is my first "real" blog.

Now that you know a little more about me, I should explain why now I decide to create a blog. Oh, before I get ahead of myself, when I mean "real" blog I mean this: I've had others but never kept up with them. Im a journalism major and my professors always told the students we should have blogs. So they had us create them and write once a week. I figured I really should make one now and keep it. Anyway, that is why I now created one. Well, I also needed somewhere I can vent without the annoying facebook.com status updates.

Now, true to my word, here is the venting! Ill try not to rant.

It wasn't until I hit 22years old when I decided to get my life on track. So I had gotten my first, real job, where I run the risk of getting fired, planned out the rest of my college career, started writing for my schools newspaper and saving money. It just so happens I am taking a summer class now, I just became Editor In Chief for the remainder of the year and I will be graduating at the end of this year as well. Im ending my college life with a bang! Now, because I wont know who will be reading this, I will try to be professional and not digitally bash anyone.

As of right now, I feel as though I am barely keeping my head over water. I knew EIC was going to be a tough position but I know this will look amazing when I look for jobs. Especailly my dream job (Revolver Magazine http://www.revolvermag.com/ ). I really hope I can do a good job at the newspaper, even though I have a huntch there are people waiting for me to fail. Thanx, guys. Piss off your editor BEFORE she makes her staff, im sure that'll work out for you.

Im a very sarcastic person and I lack any knowledge of boundaries. I have a mouth of a sailor but ill try to restrain myself. So, I guess that is it for now.

:)