I have moved to New Brunswick with my brother and could not be happier. This week I have a celebration of Journalism at NJCU. I have to give my speech and I am not prepared. Hopefully I can think of something tomorrow, which will probably not happen because I constantly leave things for last minute. I have learned that I do work well under pressure... even though all this time I thought I couldn't. So, most likely, I'll be doing this either Tuesday night (the event is Wednesday) or Wednesday right before the event.
Monir (Deputy Managing Editor), Frank (Arts & Entertainment Editor), Atilla (Lifestyle Editor), Armando (Cartoonist), myself (E.I.C.), Roberto (writer), Vanessa (writer), Edgar (Sports Editor), Rafal (Managing Editor).
I will miss you all. <3
Since I've moved down here, I have made a few connections in hopes I can land a job here. I have enough for rent, but I need to start putting my skills to work... plus... I have a LOT of loans to pay back. I miss being home mostly because of my dogs and dad. My brother is also working on having me drive more so I can get comfortable. I feel like I am still holding on to a security blanket. I'm afraid of being a big girl and being on my own. It's scary to know I only have myself to depend on now. My dad wants to help but I want to stand on my own without his help but I know once he sees me wobble and losing my grip on my knees he will rush over and hold me up.
Along with meeting power women with job connections, I have met someone new. As great as he is, alas, I am not ready for a girlfriend title again. To protect his innocence, I will not be using his name. I can just nickname him D. I'm sure I'll forget this is his nickname but I will try to keep that in mind.
Today, I pretty much took it easy. I actually sat down and thought about what I have learned in my last three relationship.
The Hockey player. 6 months
The Firefighter. 5 yearsThe Kid. 2 years
The Hockey player: He was athletic. That is what I admired most about him. He was naturally a big, bulky guy. Puerto Rican and Irish. He had the nicest green eyes I have ever seen. They were so bright and stood out so much because of his dark black hair. He had boyish look to him that I knew would turn into a manly face (and I was right). He had a quick sense of humor and was great with jokes. He constantly made me laugh and our personalities clicked. However, we were both young. It was high school. His faithfulness fell short as well. I learned I like a guy who is big, strong, athletic, and funny. He hasn't changed... No, really, he hasn't. He still acts as if he was 16 years old. Can't stand talking to him for over 15 minutes.
The Firefighter. My high school sweetheart, my first love, my first heartbreak. What I admired most about him was the simple fact we grew up together. When most people say that others instantly think "they knew each other since they were toddlers". I was 17 and he was 19 and were together for years. Not many people grasp the reality that teenagers change so much by the time they hit 21 and I was one of them. He knew how to take care of me, taught me how to grow up, how to do things on my own, one of the most intelligent men I've ever met, great work ethics, and made sure he kept in shape as well. Again, his faithfulness always fell short. We haven't spoken since we broke up, but if I had the chance, I would love to just thank him for teaching me and molding me. I think we could have worked out if I was more mature... and if he could have just kept his penis in his pants!
The Kid. I learned nothing. He was a rebound for the former love. We were never in love. He was just simply the mistake that I could ave avoided. It was a total waste of time and effort. However, I did learn I hate lazy people, I hate having to constantly push for the better, hate being number two, and hate dealing with young boys. Boys period.
I like to believe I have learned a lot but after that train wreck I want to feel free. I want/need to be able to do whatever I want, see whoever I want, be intimate with whomever I want. I despise having to answer to someone and lying to the person. Right now, what I really need to do is focus on my career and myself. Once I get my life together I can think about really settling down. Besides, it's only been about two months anyway. We'll both learn soon enough if we really do see ourselves being together. Who knows? He might end up hating my temper and I can hate the way he talks to women.
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